blastedgoat

it seems like a silly title but it decribes someting i do all the time, i like to sit and think (whether in a sober state or otherwise) and generate memories and before long i have a million connections happening in my brain. it is my goal to write these down as i compile them in order to write a poem or a short story from my past memories. i will use this post to add to the list as it grows…

entries may range from lists to sentances to paraphraphs but i hope they will allow me to piece together things i have lost over the years…

thursday may 21:

all the times i got in trouble for not eating all my dinner in a timely fashion. two incidents that stick out are the fish sandwhich which DID have cheese on it and i did not want cheese and i fought with my parents insisting that there was cheese on it and they didn’t believe me and made me eat it anyway. the second instance was a time i had eaten earlier and wasn’t hungry. we were having chow mein which i really liked but wasn’t hungry enough to eat it all so i got in trouble and sent to my room crying

i am sitting in the basement of the library and i just smashed my left middle finger with a very heavy book. there is a group of irritating girls sitting around laptops surrounded by water bottles. sometimes the monotony of college existence makes me want to shoot myself in the head. i am pretty sure i will go in a way similar to that but i got a lot of years to put in still–can’t let all my future fans down. i have been playing with the idea of writing a novel over the summer but as novels are pretentious and very few people have time for a good long read these days i think a play, script, poetry collection, short story or fan fic would be better (and with the length cut in half i can work on multiple projects!)

i am so excited for the harry potter movie this summer, it has been giving me something to look foward to that is why i thought about writing a hp fan fic to apease my childhood interests (trust me there were far more embarassing candidates for my fan fic project and i am still somewhat considering: sailor moon, freaks and geeks or digimon fics)

i kind of want to stay away from scriptwriting due to the fact that i wrote one this last semester but now i have fun software that makes it really easy to format my work so maybe i will poke around that program and see what happens!

short story ideas will be generated with glee (as i will need to draw from them for my fiction workshop this next semester!) i am at a crossroads in my life when it comes to fiction and non fiction but i have decided that both can be achieved in the same piece if one is creative and honest enough!

in conclusion i am lame and in order to stop being so lame i have decided to do something with my summer besides work and rot in the rod library… wish me luck…

the sun blinds me through a window with no blinds

as i lean over to examine this pale blue afternoon.

a cat yet again sits on a plastic storage bin amid

recently emptied boxes, 7:53 but a bee buzzes still

near a tree, near my window. three large pictures

broken-up with: white window-latches, burgundy curtains,

ripped screens…

i am rambling again!

a pile of duplicate books

from my over-crowded bookshelves to be donated, even those

with the covers ripped off might once again…

a cat licks its tail as the writer spins

her sleepy fingers around misspelled adjectives.

“why oh why, do i feel ever so alone on days like today?”

an ant climbed all the way up my arm

but i threw him down.

zach asked how i would feel:

“if giants were to step on me…

and bend my little legs…

and smash my little head.”

“i might be all the better…”

i replied. i found my answer

odd but only because i heard it

in a dream i had when i was young…

an old man dies in the turn of a page…

no that is not a type-o. no i am not Chinese. Chinese American food is not Chinese. fortune cookies are not Chinese. the children of Chinese immigrants are not Chinese, they are Chinese-American. but i am not Chinese so this is not a matter that concerns me.

what concerns me is simply and feverishly this:

my cat is sleeping on a candy land baby blanket and the black ink that jaggedly-stripes her back is being licked by a surprisingly un-sandpapery tongue.

this is not the element of distraught intentions:

but the sun dwindles in the horizon, ho my hoe approacheth!

(what really concerns me is that i said Chinese in this blog 9 times and I only said American twice. take that you freedom-loving bastards)

j/k my comrades are from a little place called Iowa but they can’t come to the phone because they are alllllll strung out on bathtub concoctions.

Candy is dandy but…

Mandy is better

i want to write a harry potter fan fic, i have always wanted to finish one and i think it is puurrfect considering the 6th movie will be coming out and i have already started my summer reading list which includes a lot of academic articles about the series. i lost some of the magic in my life when i stopped writing certain things. i will be in fiction workshop this semester and think it should be a good warm-up! i want to write other things during the summer and produce several more poetry videos for youtube but rest assured when i need some downtime or just need to quench my fan-girl appetite i will certainly turn to my fan fic project with glee!

hold me to this! it will be good for my nerd-soul!