blastedgoat

[disclaimer] ok so basically instead of boring random stats i thought i would just start rambling about myself to see if i can uncover any seriously deep-seeded fears or freshly discovered memories… if you have any questions you would like answered please feel free to leave those in the comments, or feel free to rant back to me, oh my little bity brothers and sissies. that is what such functions are for, and we always promote function over form because too many idiots weighs the world down. cut ‘em lose folks.
[for starters] my name is mandy michelle the thoughts you see scattered randomly before you are mine. be forewarned, i do not like to capitalize. i live in a terrible, awful, lame capitalist society, so that is why i do not capitalize. no sir, if i do you know it’s important. i never capitalize i, or my name. i am insignificant. i am only an ant. i like all humans will die and there is nothing you can do about it. i swear that i have more memories of dreams than of actual events. maybe life is inverted and we only truly live in dreams. who knows and who am i to ask these things? i am randomly yours. that is who i am. don’t bother or worry about trying to decipher between my wavy lines. some people were not meant to be saved. anyway i believe you came here to learn something about yours truly. let’s see what comes out of the box today…

[saturday 8 november 2008] i walked in the horrible weather to after school tutorials. i went to the high school and our group met on campus. i made the walk twice a week. it was nice. we made sushi a few times. curtis even showed up once in a while. he was so weird. he once hung half naked out the window of a uni dorm room to talk to the girls above. that was the first summer i was roomates with jessica. her twin sister jennifer was next door with nichole and curtis was a floor below us. anyway i was walking along hudson road and it was half raining outside. the sky was completely grey. i had a portable cd player and i was listening to nirvana. something in the way was playing on repeat as i made my way through the wet grass. that day i wondered what it would be like to be homeless and sleep under a bridge. my mom once brought home this guy she met in the psych ward. he had tattoos all over his body including his head. he was a heroine addict and he was also homosexual. he lived with us for a while and told us he was a gypsy and that he was hundreds of years old. you meet the strangest people when your parents are drug dealers. that is how i made most of my friends. i hope that if any of them ever read this or anything i’ve put out on the good old internet that they be merciful and that they long to relive those golden days as i do. i cannot tell you how well i feel basking in the glow of our childhood memories. why do you think i even write such things? or at all? i am trying, trying ever-long my friends to save us from time. to preserve this life as it was and always shall be. maybe someday i will make a movie that you will see. even if you never knew it was my visions of you that inspired any thing i create i would be happy knowing you had a fleeting chance at understanding how your loss torments me. you and all my friends. all those girls. lost. lost forever. how much did you all tell me in confidence. i never told. at least i never told it was you. your stories haunt me. you children with dull muted faces. i wish i could remember your laugh. i can hear it now, just barely though and i’m afraid it’s fading fast…

[for your voyeuristic pleasure]

from:  blastedgoat
added: january 08, 2008

the song is “regret” played by gackt and kami (malice mizer) it is supposed to be funny but take it as you will…”the machine” is a miniature film shot and edited within 2 hours. it’s very “art school” but not in an entirely serious or profound way. and tada… product placement! just so you know… i actually bought a dr. pepper out of the 7up machine! please enjoy the subtle subtitle humor of my tiredness…

category:  film & animation
tags: pepsi  diet  7up  soda  pop  machine  girl  emo  short  film  fog  iowa  night  door  snow  winter  democracy  scarf  coin  change  doc  art