A Trip (From the Past) and a Lost Photo (of My Dead Cat)


These pictures were in an album from when we went to Electric Six and they included pictures I didn’t know I had of the pet cat I lost last August. I wanted to share because I need to think warm thoughts… think of a time when it was warm outside and I was going to concerts and I got to see one of my favorite bands for the second time! (I just went a third time not that long ago…)

I think the pictures of the cemetery, concert and cats sum up my interests pretty well. I have always been preoccupied with death and I love music and cats… I think that makes me somewhat of a strange, yet, thoughtful person.

I lost an uncle to a self-inflicted bullet wound to the head and have known older relatives in my family who passed away of more natural causes. My mother attempted suicide several times but once sold painkillers to a young friend of hers who overdosed. Another friend of hers, an ex-heroin addict, died before he turned thirty from a heart attack. My ex-fiance’s mother died last year of cancer and knew a boy in elementary school who died in a coma after an operation to remove a tumor in his brain. Kyle, a boy I was really good friends with in high school was lost for several days after saving his little sister from drowning in the Cedar River. Most recently, Bandit, my childhood dog, was put to sleep after his hip gave out on him.

One of the most vivid and painful deaths was that of my kitty cat, Ginger, about half a year ago. I still keep the clay imprint of her paw on my dresser and post photographs of her all over my room. I moved all the digital pictures of her and my other animals in one easy to find folder on my desktop. I soon worried that I would miss seeing her pictures mixed in with the rest. I love finding one of these overlooked albums or missed memories every once in a while. It gives me a jolt at first but then I end up cherishing those pictures the most.

I’m thankful for getting the chance to post a lost picture of my dead cat  half a year after she got ill and had to be put to sleep. She may be under feet of snow but she is certainly not forgotten. She’s my Ginger “Fish” and she lives forever in this crazy lady’s writings, drawings, videos and dreams.

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