Missing Ginger & 2011 So Far…

This series was taken in our old house on Rainbow Dr.

Ginger is no longer with us but I have a hard drive & heart full of pictures and memories that I like to post from time to time to remind myself that I had an amazing friend and that she is still with me. I’ve been cleaning my place since I was recently and unfairly fired from my job. I have found many mementos of her short & sweet life. I drew her at the corners of pages, used pictures of her as bookmarks in my favorite reads and I even come across a forgotten .jpg every so often. Subway is fighting my unemployment claim. I got the letter first thing this morning so today was especially tough. I thought these pictures would cheer me up.

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In some ways I worry less now because I have lost so many things I thought I could never live without. I’m managing to move on somehow but, like I said, some days are harder than others. I’ve also been stood up by a few friends a few weeks running but I understand that most people are more busy than I am now… although I have been waging war against the dust bunnies and clutter that have taken over my tiny house. Still, it seems I need a friend right now. I am talking to a blog aren’t I? That is something I used to do quite frequently. It helped. I’ve also been editing some video lately. I will probably be posting something new tomorrow if my night goes as planned. I think I deserve a break from the spring cleaning marathon I’ve been on for days… I just realized that you were still here.

Thank you kind strangers for listening. I may be getting behind where it counts for most people in life but I’m learning so much about myself in the process. I’m on the edge of some great idea or momentous change in my life. This blog has already proved most beneficial to my mindset in the past few weeks. I still have purpose every day and some days I’m even astounded by the response my words and photographs receive from seemingly faceless strangers. I once wrote in a blog (while living in a crappy hotel) about moving into that house on Rainbow. When I was little I always wanted to live in one of those big houses on that long, sunny street. I admired them when we took that winding road to church every Sunday. They were big like the house we had to move out of when my parents got divorced.

I wanted to live in that kind of neighborhood again. A place where kids could ride bikes on the sidewalks, all the houses were numbered, the yards were decorated with plants, tire swings, political signs. I am lucky to have such fond memories of my childhood. I know that times weren’t always good but the world seemed like a place where you could become anything you wanted to be as long as you worked for it. The more I am alive in America, the more I realize that what we were taught was not the whole truth and we are not as free as they would have us think. I’m not free to have a good job or even be able to support myself and all I did was follow my dreams to go to college. I didn’t live lavishly, didn’t do much of anything but go to school and work. I see students continuing to pay for less and less each year. There are revolutions happening around the world and we are all to scared to lose everything to really fight for the things we need. We have an entire generation of kids (and now parents and grandparents) that are going into student loan debt, the ONLY debt that cannot be taken away by filing for bankruptcy. We go and get degrees and then can’t land fast food gigs. Enough is enough, what will it take for America to wake up and realize it really failed us in the education department and it is showing, badly.

I think this sort of thing has to start in the community. I feel isolated and unwanted the longer I don’t have a traditional “job” and it is getting worse with the debt collectors ready to spit down my neck. I feel like scum living in a place that promises freedom when the rest of the world probably sees us more like a big greedy dumpster more than anything else. I’m not saying I don’t feel lucky to have a place to live and food to eat and a computer to tell the whole world about it but something is not right here. Politics can never be the way because they are steeped in blind tolerance and poor listening skills. I am not nor will I ever be trying to sell you something. That is so rare these days. I don’t want to sell you a thing or even attempt to change your mind. You might agree or disagree with me about any or all topics I’ve covered this post but, if you made it this far, I’m glad you were here. It sure means a lot to a person to be truly listened to on a day like this. A person who is about to go into hiding from the student loan sharks, credit card companies and possibly even my own university who passed me off to a collection agency because I could no longer afford the minimum monthly payments on my final bill.

Feel free to rant right back at me. Target your job, your school, the system, the man, or even ME! I had no idea when I sat down to post these pictures of my cat that I would be working out a few weeks worth of frustrations. WordPress is so much cheaper than therapy and I don’t have to leave my room or even get out of my pajamas!


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